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Last Exit to Springfield

Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.

Rosebud

I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! You don’t win friends with salad. Save me, Jeebus. I was saying «Boo-urns.» Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.

1. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.
2. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
3. Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.

I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children… Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three «Highlander» movies. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.

Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk

Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do? This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie «The Never Ending Story.» Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.